He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Found the puke drawer
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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