In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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