I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
