I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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