i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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