Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize