dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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