we're blogging at a bar
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i was born a porn star she said
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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