when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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