We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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