Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
