I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize