Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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