therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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