I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
What drink are we having for lunch?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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