he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
