We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
3 2 1 whiskey
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
