forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
