Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
