I'm going to jail i love you
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
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