So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
