How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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