I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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