The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I don't think brook has ever known best
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
