Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I fill condoms, not promises.
I can't put those talents on a resume
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
