She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
