yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
