shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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