I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
