I hope mine doesn't look like that
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
