I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize