i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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