your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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