Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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