We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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