if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
