i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
