i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
