I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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