I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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