would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
