You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize