I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Green mimosas i think yes
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
