Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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