addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
There r osticjed everywhere
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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