What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
