You just made me feel so damn special
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
im on a boat
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