HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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