I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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