I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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