What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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