we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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