is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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