I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
