She is in my trunk
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
