I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
