I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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