I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So many bounce houses so little time
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
