I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
