Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
