i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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