I wish i was in the wii world.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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