we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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