He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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